I’ve had a lot of negative vibes in my life over the last few months. That’s not to say my life as a whole isn’t positive, but I’ve found myself worrying about things that I normally wouldn’t or paying attention to things that I know I should just not give a shit about. It’s easy to get dragged down by negativity sometimes and when you do, your whole life can seem like a struggle. Getting up, going to work, even your diet. Things you normally enjoy like going to the gym or meeting up with friends can all of a sudden seem like a chore instead of a pleasure. So for whatever it’s worth, this is what I’ve gotten back to and how I think you can get yourself back to the kind of person you want to be.
1. Just do you.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the stresses put on us by ever increasing external pressures. Society, colleagues, friends or even family. Sometimes we worry so much about what people think we should be doing that we forget what we want to be doing. If theres one thing I know for sure it’s that no one ever got anywhere by not believing in what they were trying to achieve. So trust yourself. Trust that regardless of what anyone else says, you know what matters to you. You know what you want. Own your own life and accept that you will never please everyone, so stop trying.
2. Fuck the haters.
Which brings me nicely onto my next point. Fuck what other people think. Some people just thrive on negativity and love to judge others and if you let it, that fear of judgement will stop you from achieving your goals. Not doing something because you worry what your friends might think or what your work colleagues might say. Feeling like you could be really great at something but never trying because you’re worried about what others might say about it. FUCK THAT. Trust in yourself and your vision and let the whisperers and naysayers talk about you as much as they want, because they are the ones that are too scared to chase their dreams, whilst you are the one brave enough to chase yours.
3. Concentrate on the people that matter.
One thing I’ve learnt is that you will never be able to please everyone. So concentrate on the ones that bring value to your life. So what if some people don’t like you? That probably means you are true to yourself and don’t pretend to be something your not. All the people that smile to your face and then talk behind your back, do you really need them? What value do they bring to your life? And consider why you would even want them in it. They are the type of people that will only ever hold you back. Snakes whispering in the dark and tearing you down, when there are people around you who will only ever want to build you up. Those are the people that will come to define your life. The ones that will be there at your lowest and not just when you’re on top. The people that will back you no matter what. The people that you trust with your secrets because they trust you with theirs and who would be there whenever and wherever they were needed because they know that when they need it, you’re going to do the same for them. They’re the ones the matter. The rest are just footnotes in the story of your life.
4. Be positive.
Following on from that, don’t be one of those people that talks behind people’s backs. Don’t be the person that always brings people down. Don’t live your life from a point of negativity, always looking to complain and find a reason to quit. Leave that to the haters. Instead, be the person that looks for a solution to the problem. Be the person that rises above the backstabbing and stands up for those that aren’t there. Be bold, brave and lead from the front, not giving a fuck what people think about it because that world of discontent is not going to bind you or define your character. Believe that you can be better and do better and that’s what will happen.
5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others.
Seriously. There are some things you can influence and some things you can’t. You might have been genuinely fucked over by someone or lots of people or maybe even by an organisation. It might be a small thing or it might be that your world has been turned upside down. Whatever the case, I guarantee you, no problem was ever solved by sitting on your arse and complaining about it. Understand something; no one is ever going to give you what you want in this world and no amount of whining and complaining is going to make shit happen for you. So take a day to wallow if you need it and then get up, make a stand and accept the reality of your situation and start rebuilding one life brick at a time. Or if a wall has been put up, then work out a way to try and knock that bitch down. Whatever it is, you don’t just have to lay down and accept your circumstances, but know that if they are to change, then it will be because you had the guts to try and do something about them.
I could go on. Basically it’s about you. Trusting in yourself and not being restricted by what others may think or what society tells you is out of your reach. If you are willing to work hard enough you can achieve anything. That is not a clichè. You can be what you want. There are no limits. But you have to live each day with the knowledge that it will never happen if you don’t make it happen. It’s about knowing yourself and what matters to you.
Like a hero of mine once said; ‘who do you want to be? Not what, but who. I’m talking about figuring out for yourselves, what makes YOU happy?’