A few weeks ago I was talking with a good friend of mine who was in the midst of the initial stages of getting to know a new guy, and she was having the common dilemma of waiting for a guy to text back and wondering whether she should text him again in the meantime. This is just one of the issues that arises when playing the game and getting with a new person and the steps you take in those initial opening relationship salvos can be the difference between getting the person you want and pulling a shocker that leaves you feeling stupid and rejected.

Now there are a multitude of mistakes that can be made when first getting with someone, but nothing is worse than wasting time on doubts and confusion, especially when at the beginning it should be all about fun, flirting and fucking feeling good. In this blog we’re just going to look at your message game.

The answer to the ‘should I message him again’ question is simple. No. Do not.

Like I told my friend, the answer to the ‘should I message him again’ question is simple. No. Do not. Never ever ever ever ever! Put your phone somewhere out of arms reach and leave that shit alone! The same rules apply for messaging a girl. The reason for this is simple and since I can’t explain it any better I’ll just use the famous line; ‘He’s (or she’s) just NOT that into you!’ Words to live by, trust me. The amount of times people will make up all kinds of ridiculous excuses for why someone hasn’t messaged back is crazy. The shit that goes through peoples minds when trying to explain a lack of reply is beyond ridiculous. Then they start worrying that maybe their own text wasn’t clear. Maybe they phrased something wrong that the other person took the wrong way. Maybe they should have put a question in there. Maybe the tone was wrong and now the other person thinks the sender is not really interested. Maybe their phone deleted it by accident. Maybe a monkey ran through their window and stole their phone. Maybe their phone is actually a transformer that has kidnapped them. Better send another text just to be sure. Once again, NO! DO NOT! NEVEREVEREVEREVEREVER!!!!!

If nothing comes back your way, again, don’t try to make excuses for why that’s the case.

Read this and then read it again. If they want to be with you or are interested at all, they will get back to you. You won’t have to concoct the perfect text or eloquent message. When you like someone, you can’t wait to message them back or see them again, so consider what it tells you if that message isn’t forthcoming from the other person. I mean if a girl messages me something flirty and I don’t pick up on it and reciprocate, I’m telling you that every single time that means the same thing. I’m not interested. So if you try to get your flirt on or a bit of sexual banter and nothing comes back your way, again, don’t try to make excuses for why that’s the case when, really, the answer is right there in front of u. They are just not feeling you, so stop trying to force it.

Now, I know I said neverevereververeverever, but there is one exception. There is nothing like some peace of mind, so if after however much time the person still has not hit you back, you can send one more message. Just one. Again, I personally wouldn’t. If they wanted to get back at you they would have, but if you want to leave no doubt in your mind that you did all you could to progress things so that you can move on without wondering ‘what if’, then send one more message. If they don’t reply to that one, then 100% it’s game over. I repeat. 100% GAME OVER! If you send a third then you’re clearly just a glutton for punishment that is going to come across quite sad and without other options.  This is particularly relevant if a guy (or girl I suppose) ghosts (read this if you are unfamiliar with ‘ghosting’) on you, because you will end up looking desperate and crazy. Which brings me nicely to my next point.

Don’t be crazy.

Crazy is never a good look. If you’re one of these people who looks at whether the ticks have gone blue on WhatsApp or when the person was last on Facebook then you are already firmly in the avoid at all costs corner. It’s all about balance. Obviously if someone is dicking you about then you don’t want to waste your time, but that doesn’t mean you should think that’s happening to you every time someone doesn’t message you back instantly. Half the fun of the game is in the chase, so embrace the challenge and then if it gets to a point where you think it’s too much hassle, just drop it and move on. People get busy sometimes. It’s not always an excuse. Remember, balance. If its been a few days then obviously they’re not that bothered about you because it takes ten seconds to send a quick message, but if it’s just been a few hours, then just chill. Don’t keep staring at your phone waiting for it to flash. If the message comes, it comes, if not, then at least you know you didn’t scare the person off by being crazy.

So you message them and then wait. Let the dust settle and see what happens. Trust in your own worth and that this person will get back to you. If they don’t then sack them off and move onto the next one. It’s really that simple. People that want to be together will not need to spend time wondering about this kind of stuff, so if you are left wondering, then that should tell you all you need to know about the future prospects of this particular romance.