‘Why on earth have you got that stuff?’
This is what a bloke at work said to me once when we he saw me pull out some Vaseline lip balm. The conversation progressed and he told me that he would never dream of using lip balm or moisturiser. The answer when I asked why? ‘Because I’m a man!’ The implication of course that any man who does use moisturiser etc is less of a man. More feminine. I mean, ignore the fact that this dudes skin was so dry that it made me thirsty and that he looked about a thousand years old when I think he was only in his late forties. Ignore the fact that his lines were so deep that he looked like he might be made of tree bark. Ignore the fact that the guy telling me about what is ‘a man’ looks like he hasn’t seen any exercise in…like ever. Ignore all that, and you still have the basis of what is a pretty common viewpoint, that being; women are the ones that use that kind of stuff, not men. Not straight men anyway.
So first off, let me make it clear. I use moisturiser. Three different ones in fact. Face, hands, body. And an eye cream. And lip balm. And I manscape, but we’ll get to that later. I feel like it should be self-evident, but if you are one of the people who wonder why any guy would use all this stuff, let me break it down. So firstly, to make it really basic, why would anyone want to have dusty ass dry skin?! I feel like we, the moisturisers of the world, should be the ones confused! I’m less of a man because I don’t really want to have dead, crusty, dry skin on my face? Madness!
But forget the day-to-day stuff for a minute, because I suppose you can’t miss what you’ve never had. If you’re used to having skin that looks like it might blow off with a strong breeze, then you have no reason to change I suppose. So let’s think in the long-term. When it comes to your face, there are a lot of factors that can damage your skin and make you get deep lines, which is a polite way of saying, if you don’t take care of yourself you can end up looking real busted, real quick. Lack of sleep, the wrong diet, stress and dehydration are the main things. However, dry skin is also a factor. You’ve heard the phrase ‘black don’t crack’ I assume? This comes from the fact that people with darker skin tend to also have oiler skin, particularly on the face, which in turn means it’s not as dry. So if you’re someone who is the opposite and has quite dry skin, then you are much more susceptible to the aging process. So in essence I’m saying, I moisturise so that I don’t look old as dirt. Simple. It does work as well, because this is me at 20;
and this is me at 31;
Obviously I look a bit different, but in general there’s not too much difference.
I know it’s not the same, but the argument works for hands as well. Who wants wrinkled up hands that look like you’re using a prop from the walking dead! And I guarantee you, no woman has ever enjoyed having her body caressed by someone whose hands feel like sandpaper! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m always at the gym and I don’t wear gloves so I’ve got calluses like no ones business. Those are like badge of honour though. I earned them through years of hard gym work. But I still try to keep them from getting too rough.
As for lips…well if I need to explain to you why having dry, cracked lips is a bad look then stop reading immediately. Go kiss a wall or something and see what you’ve been putting your girl through.
So onto manscaping! Firstly what is it? Type it in on Google and this is what you get;
which is as good a definition as any. Although I quite like this one;
Major lolz. Thank you Jessica615.
So anyway, as I see it, it’s about keeping your self trimmed wherever you feel like hair is an issue, but mainly, it’s about keeping yourself well groomed in the nether region so that it’s all good for when she goes down town lester brown. Now I know there are those of you out there that just don’t think about this as an issue, but unless your chick actively has a fetish for hair down there, then I guarantee you, it’s an issue for her. And if you’re thinking that she doesn’t go down there that often anyways, then maybe you now know why! I mean I’ll b real, if I was to go down on a girl and it was like trying to wrestle a furry barbarian into submission, I probably wouldn’t be too keen for a return trip either. Just get yourself a grooming device and trim yourself right down, I promise you, she’ll appreciate it.
On top of that, it has the benefit of making everything look better. And by that obviously I’m talking about bigger. If your johnson is struggling to breathe as it constantly fights against the oppressive strangulation of the chaos that is your pubic hair and is partially hidden by the vast forest of tangled man growth, then the old chap is hardly going to be looking his best is he! So don’t just do it for her, do it for yourself! Have some dignity man!!
So with all that said, there are a million different products you can use for different things. Some stuff is mad expensive, some stuff is cheap. A lot of times you won’t be able to tell the difference, but it’s worth experimenting to find something that works for you. If you’ve got no idea where to start, this is what I use and it works for me!
So for my face, I mainly use ClarinsMen Super Moisture Balm.
They do a gel version as well, but I find that it doesn’t absorb as well and I don’t feel like my skin is as moisturised. It’s about £30 depending on where you get it from. I normally try to wait to get it from duty free but you’re only talking a couple of quid saving. If you want something a bit cheaper, try the L’oreal men expert range. I used to swear by them, but I prefer the Clarins now. Value for money wise, Bulldog do some good stuff and it’s a lot cheaper, so if you’re skint, give them a try.
I also use an anti age eye cream by Clinique for men.
Again, it’s pretty pricey, about £25 quid and it’s quite small, but then you only need to use a tiny bit. I find it works really well and as long as I use it regularly, it makes a noticeably difference to lines as well as making my eyes feel less tight.
Body wise my skin isn’t really that dry but I still use stuff on my feet or my shoulders and arms when they feel tight. Most of my life I’ve used Vaseline Intensive Care.
It’s quite thin and I find it to be non greasy and it works a treat on my hands. It can double up as a face moisturiser as well so really it’s the perfect all in one. If I could only have one product, it would be this. It’s also cheap, but I’ve not found anything more expensive to be any better. They also do a cocoa butter one, which I like, and is a bit more suited to being used as a body cream.
I also really like Palmers Cocoa Butter. It’s thicker than the two above and personally I find it perfect for feet and arms. Plus it smells amazing. Conversely this makes me want to eat chocolate, so that may not be good thing. Oink.
Lip wise, Vaseline Lip Therapy is the one. Look no further.
I’ve used Carmex which I love as well, but overall, nothing is as good as the Vaseline product. I like the Cocoa butter one, but it also comes in other variations including Aloe Vera.
To groom, I’m all about quality. You can’t be messing about when it comes to your bits, so go with something that’s got good reviews! Personally I use the Philips Series 7000 Body Groomer Pro.
It’s really good for the manscaping because it doesn’t nick so you have peace of mind that you’re not going to look down and see every dude’s worst nightmare! You can use it on your face as well, but personally I’d stick to Gillette wet shaves for that. It’s got 5 settings so you can choose how close you want to go.
So there it is. Manscaping and grooming. It’s not about being manly or anything like that. If someone thinks you’re less of a man because you take care of yourself, it probably says more about them than it does about you. At the end of the day, I’m secure enough with my masculinity to be cool about using whatever product I want and trimming anywhere I want! Do yourself a favour and give it a go. Your future self will thank you, your missus will thank you which in turn means your johnson will thank you, and so if you think about it, everyone is a winner.
And we all love winning right!