Right. BAM.
‘Ya gotta move boy.’
Jab. BAM.
‘I’m gonna keep hittin’ you as long as you keep standing still.’
Left, right, hook. BAM, BAM, BAM.
‘Fuckin’ell boy, what’s the matter with you today? You might as well not be here at this rate!’
He’s right. I’m taking a fucking pasting today because my head is not really in it. Dennis is my trainer and one of the hardest bastards I know, but he doesn’t normally bang me around like this. I squint my eyes and press my gloves to my face and let out what is becoming an all too regular sigh.
‘I’m sorry mate, I’m just not feeling it. I’m just-‘
Right. BAM.
‘Well then why the bloody ‘ell am I wasting my time then?’
Despite the stinging sensation on my left cheek I can’t help but laugh. Dennis just shakes his head and laughs along with me. He’s old school when it comes to dedication and he loves his boxing but if there’s one thing he understands, it’s the lure of women.
‘You need to sort your head out son! This one’s got you all over the place.’
‘I dunno what’s the matter with me mate. You know me, I never get like this.’
Since the moment in her office, Eve has been avoiding me like the plague. We’ve had work dealings, sat in meetings together, met clients and spoke on the phone, strictly business of course. But any attempt to get her alone has been met with road block after road block. She always has a meeting, or a conference call she has to be on. She couldn’t come for drinks because she had other engagements. She couldn’t meet up for a catchup because her schedule was full. Anything to avoid being alone with me. If I was insecure I might think that she had gone off me and that I was being the desperate dude that can’t see when something is done or that he is now just a hassle, but I know that’s not the case. Even if she said it was like that, which she hasn’t, I wouldn’t believe her. I was there. I felt how much she wanted it. So I’ve only been left with the assumption that the guilt is too much for her and she can’t deal with it, but that she also doesn’t trust it not to happen again if we’re alone. Luckily it’s leaving drinks for the guy whose name I always forget after work on Friday and I know she’s going, so I plan to see how her resolve holds up when she’s had some drinks. I’ve obviously been quiet for too long because Dennis starts telling me a story.
‘Let me tell you something and then I want you to show some commitment. I was with this old girl this one time, and she was stunning. I’d wanted to get into her for a long time see, but she’d been giving me the run around. I was convinced that she was gonna be the end of me if I didn’t have her.’
‘Right, so what happened?’
Dennis smiled as he always does when he’s about to say something dirty. ‘Well of course eventually I went through her didn’t I!’
I can’t help but chuckle at the way he says things. ‘Right…?’
‘Well turns out afterwards I didn’t really care about her at all, I just wanted to shag her. So the moral is, it might just be that you want to have a good go on this bird.’
‘So you weren’t bothered about her at all afterwards?’
‘Not at all boy. Left her fanny looking like a fighting dog’s ear and moved onto the next one.’
I burst out laughing at the image which sent Dennis into fits of laughter as well. Dirty fucker was Dennis, and I loved him for it.
‘Seriously lad, don’t worry about it, just take your time and eventually you’ll get your chance and then you’ll forget about her just as fast.’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘Don’t what?’ Dennis replies.
‘Forget about her.’
He raises an eyebrow at me and chuckles again. ‘Well then you’re in real trouble my boy.’
Right. BAM.
‘Do you want another one Eve?’ I ask her.
‘No thank you.’
She turns back to the conversation she’s having and acts like I’m not even there. I take a deep breath and raise an eyebrow and physically bite my tongue. I’m already a bit tipsy, and I don’t want to say or do anything that I’m going to regret. It is driving me crazy though. I’ve seen her drinking but so far she still has this impenetrable wall erected around her that is making it impossible for me to get any time with her. She may as well have ‘Fuck off’ tattooed on her forehead. It doesn’t help that she looks so fucking good. Wearing this tight blue dress that just sticks to her body in a way that makes it impossible to ignore her figure. Her hair is down for once and the change just makes her look even sexier. She’s got a fringe that sweeps to one side and long flowing dark hair that is just begging for me to pull it. I need to touch her so bad it fucking breaks me.
‘I’ll have one’. Says a voice from behind me. Zara. I can’t help but roll my eyes.
I spend the next few hours talking with random people, trying and failing to talk with Eve and half heartedly flirting with Zara. After a while, it becomes overly clear that Eve is not going to crack and so I make the ill-advised decision to get absolutely shit faced. I know that this will probably lead to me going back with Zara, but I don’t care anymore. I know I should, I know that I’m being a complete prick by sleeping with her when I know she likes me, just like I know it’s not fair to sleep with her just because I’m annoyed about Eve blowing me off, but now that I’m tipsy and frustrated, I just don’t care about any of that.
As the drinks flow, I feel the familiar sense of exaggeration coming to all of my thoughts. Everything seems so much more intense and meaningful. It’s why people say and do stupid things when drunk. I’m normally quite good at reigning that side of me, but tonight I can feel that I’m losing my self-control, the more frustrated I get. What’s worse is that I don’t want to admit to myself how annoyed I am, but in trying to ignore it, I’m just getting more irritated.
Why can’t she just stop being a cunt and just talk to me!
As I’m talking with Zara, I decide to just call the night a write off. I put my arm around Zara’s waist and pull her into me and start whispering dirty nothings into her ear. She giggles and put her hand on my crotch, rubbing up and down in what she probably thinks is a subtle way. I’m drunk so I don’t really care, but I doubt there is anything subtle about it. As I whisper into her ear I look over her shoulder and see Eve looking over at me from where she is stood at the bar. It’s the first real eye contact she’s made with me all night. She’s so beautiful, for a moment I completely forget where I am or what I’m doing. I stop what I’m whispering to Zara mid sentence, completely lost in Eve’s eyes. She looks half annoyed, half sad. Or maybe it’s something else. She shakes her head slightly and rolls her eyes that give the unmistakable impression of disgust and walks away.
‘Za, I just need to go for a piss, I’ll be back in a bit yeah.’
‘Okay babe, don’t be to long.’ She says, giving me what I’m sure she thinks is her sexiest look. I just find it slightly off-putting.
I walk around for a minute trying to see where Eve has gone and eventually spot her sitting on a chair in a booth on her phone.
I still can’t believe how hot she is.
As I think this I notice I’m expressing my disbelief by involuntarily shaking my head. I’ve never known anything like her. I sit next to her in the booth and look at her but she ignores me.
‘Well nothing new there then’ I say staring at the table.
‘I’m sorry?’ She replies.
‘Well you’ve been ignoring me all night so I don’t know why I’d expect anything different now. Feel free not to give me dirty looks though.’
She looks at me for the first time since I’ve sat down with a look that I judge to mean that my comment has made her angry enough that she has forgotten she is ignoring me.
‘Firstly, you know why I’m ignoring you, don’t be so ridiculous. And secondly, just because I’m not interested in you doesn’t mean you should toy with Zara. You obviously don’t give a shit about her.’
Now that we’re actually talking I can tell how drunk she is. Good, because I’m fucking smashed.
‘Hang on, firstly you don’t know what I give a shit about, and what, you’re saying you’re not interested now?’
‘Please, you’re obviously using her to make me jealous and-‘
‘Which is obviously fucking working because look at you!’
For a minute I think she might slap me, but she instead looks away and clenches her jaw. ‘Oh trust me, I couldn’t care less who you talk to. It’s obvious that you think the world revolves around you, but let me assure you Max, I couldn’t care less if you fucked every girl in here.’
I can feel myself getting frustrated and turned on at the same time at her verbal onslaught. Just hearing her voice and being this close to her is enough to make me almost lose control. The proximity of our bodies is like a slow torture. I can’t imagine how her husband ever gets anything done because if she was mine I’d dedicate my life to fucking her and exploring every inch of her body.
‘Please! You only showed me any attention at all once I started flirting with Zara!’
‘Flirting?! Is that what you call it? You might as well have had your dick up her arse. I don’t know how you-‘
I simultaneously lean in and grab her by the back of her and pull her to me. Before she can protest or stop me, my lips are pressed against hers. Her initial reaction is to push me away but I don’t let her go. As I kiss her, I feel her submit to my dominance and she kisses me back hungrily. She bites my lip hard and I can feel that she has drawn blood. I love it. She shoves me hard in the chest which forces me to release her. She stares at me furiously, anger and lust fusing together to give her a look that is so sexy I can’t find the words to describe quite what it does to me.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ She shouts at me as she stands up and moves out of the booth. ‘Have you lost your fucking mind? Anyone could have seen that!’
I reach for her hand but she pulls away and shoots me a stern look. She turns to walk away, looking so flustered that I hope someone from the office doesn’t see her until she’s calmed down.
‘Eve, this isn’t go-‘
‘Leave it Max, I’m going, please just stay away from me.’
She turns and walks towards the exit, not stopping to say goodbye to anyone. I contemplate just staying where I am or going back to find Zara. I know that to go after her would be a mistake. I know that this could be the natural end to things that would put out the fire and stop us from burning each other. I know that going after her can only end badly. It’s danger. Drama. It’s the road to ruin. I know all these things, and I just don’t give a fuck. I just don’t care. As I watch her walk away in that dress, looking impossibly perfect, I can barely even remember my own name let alone think about possible consequences. I rush after her as fast as I can without drawing attention to myself from whoever might happen to see me from the office. It’s raining outside and so the street is pretty much empty except for Eve storming away. She hasn’t even stopped to get her jacket.
I catch her outside the bar, walking on the pavement and try to get her to stop but she’s having none of it. I stop opposite an empty alleyway that separates two bars.
‘Eve, will you stop being such a dick please.’
She stops dead in her tracks and walks towards me in a way that I recognise means I’m either getting slapped or shouted at.
Right. BAM. ‘How dare you. You think you can just come into my life and have me? I’m a married woman for fucks sake! I just,’ she hesitates. ‘Just leave me alone.’
I look her dead in her eyes. ‘You don’t want that’
‘Yes I do!’ BAM. Another slap. ‘I do!’
‘No you don’t.’
She goes to slap me again but I catch her hand and pull her into me by her waist. I can feel her pulse racing as I hold her wrist. As I press her against me, I bend my head down and we are only inches apart. The look in her eyes, the same one she had in the booth is now amplified. It’s so raw. It tells me everything. In this moment I feel like I know her better than her husband ever could. I tighten my grip around her waist and lift her just enough that her feet leave the ground. I walk her about twenty metres into the alleyway and press her up against the wall, only partially hidden by some large bins at the front of the alley. The scene is so seedy it’s like something out of a movie, but I don’t care. Lust like this doesn’t obey rules and doesn’t know limits. For a moment we just look at each other, saying nothing. We’re both breathing heavy and the look in her eyes is so fierce I feel like it could burn a hole through me and somehow the rain which I’m sure she would view as ruining her hair has somehow made her look even sexier. It’s pouring it down but it just seems to add to the moment. I kiss her lips fully, hard but slow. It’s the kind of kiss some people will never have, fuelled by more than just the normal wanting. This is white hot desire. Her lips are so soft and yet she kisses me with a passion that is almost animal like. It feels to me like lust is pouring out of her. It feels like she wants to be fucked. Not to have sex. Fucked. She wants to feel how bad I want her. Each second that passes by I lose more control. I’m not even aware of my surroundings or if anyone is watching and in truth I don’t even care. All that matters is this moment and what I need from it. I hike her dress up then run my hands over her thighs, until I reach her arse. I squeeze it hard. I can’t get enough of her, it’s like no matter how fast I drink her in, I’m still thirsty. I want to do everything to her and my impatience to fuck her is only making me more frenzied. I move my hand up her back, take a handful of her hair and pull her head to one side to expose her neck. All the times I’ve thought about how good she smells and wanted to bite her neck now come flooding back to me and I can’t resist the allure. I trace from her collar-bone up to her ear lobe, kissing as I go, and then bite her neck. She moans instantly and grips the back of my neck. Her nails dig in but she doesn’t attempt to move away. Each time I press my teeth in, she moans and her nails dig a bit deeper. It occurs to me that she might draw blood for the second time tonight, but I’m well past caring. Pain just increases the sensation for me now and I want her to hurt me. To lose all control. I want her to lose herself completely in me.
‘Fuck me,’ she moans as she bites my ear. ‘Just fuck me.’
She takes her hands from around my neck and starts fumbling with my belt and trousers. I’ve never been this excited, and it occurs to me that I need to regain some kind of control or else I’m going to last all of ten seconds, but no matter what I try to think of to calm myself down, the feeling of excitement that has overtaken my body is beyond control. All I can do now is succumb to it. She puts her hand into my boxers and feels my cock for the first time. It takes all of my control not to come then and there. She pulls it out and whispers again for me to fuck her. I pull her knickers to the side and then roughly grab her arse as I lift her up. As she wraps her legs around me, I can’t help but enjoy how powerful I feel. She’s so light that I know I can dominate her in any way I choose, but more than that, I can tell that she likes the fact she is so powerless. So dominated. Her nails find their way back to my neck, digging in as if she knows I want her to make me bleed, and I hear her exhale sharply as I slide into her. I hold her with one arm gripping her thigh and can’t resist using my other hand to grip her hair roughly, all the while pinning her so tightly against the wall. I don’t fuck her fast, but I fuck her hard and deliberate. I want her to feel every second of this. Her moans get louder as I slowly increase my rhythm and her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me so close that I can’t help but bite her again. I fuck her harder and harder and the feeling is beyond anything I’ve felt before. The intensity and passion mixed with the unexpected nature of the sex has made me fall into a state of sexual savagery that is literally consuming me. I can’t get enough of her. I don’t want to come. I want this sex to last forever, but with each movement I can feel my body aching to release. Each moan she makes, each panting sentence just enhances the moment.
‘Oh my god…’ She breathes. ‘Fuck me…fuck me….you’re going to make me come…’
And with that any control I had is completely eradicated. The idea of this goddess coming all over my cock after I’ve fantasised about her so many times is too much. As she reaches her climax, I’m barely aware that she is biting my neck. She shows no restraint and I don’t want her to. I feel my legs stiffen and my nuts tighten as I finally give in and come inside her. Each pump threatening to make my knees buckle. The sensation of pleasure travelling across my whole body like an electro magnetic pulse before retreating back to where it originated. As I come back to reality and my senses allow me to perceive things again, I can hear her breathing heavy, still pressing me tight to her. The rain has soaked us to the core, and it’s probably quite cold now but all I can feel is the heat between us. We look at each other again as we did before and the look on her face is something I can’t quite pinpoint. Lust? Hate? Both? As opposed to once I’d blown my load with Zara, when I just wanted to get out, this time I just want to hold her here and look at her. And fuck her. And kiss her. And then fuck her. And fuck her. I can’t help but think back to what Dennis said, and his response to my question about not being able to forget her.
Well then you’re in real trouble my boy.
I think he was right. I’m in serious trouble. And I love every second of it.
THE MANSPLANATION 