Are you having enough sex?

So I was talking to someone recently and she was saying how she always feels more connected to her boyfriend when they have sex. Sounds obvious right? But think about how often we hear the clichè of a couple not having sex when they’ve been together for quite a while. It’s not like it’s a rare phenomenon. And then there’s single people. You can tell just by looking at someone that they’ve been getting some; females glow, blokes walk with that bit of extra swagger. So it raises the question; just how important is sex?

Personally I’ve always thought it to be very important, especially in relationships. To my mind, a sexless relationship is one that is always going to come across troubled waters because like my friend said, sex makes people feel connected. It’s the most intimate physical act we can share with someone…well next to spooning, but you get the point. When in a relationship, sex is one of the things that bonds a couple together, sharing their bodies exclusively with each other. Choosing to commit your fantasies and desires to one single person is a big thing and so the sex life is of vital importance. And yet, it’s something that as time goes on we often make less and less time for. Is it any wonder that couples often grow apart? Some people might argue that I’m putting too much emphasis on the physical connection, but I will never ever change my opinion on this. You need both. Emotional and physical contentment. They work in harmony together and if one is off kilter then the other isn’t far behind. Of course having that mental connection is important. Stimulating conversation and shared interest form the basis of any relationship; but without a healthy sex life, these things can soon suffer. And why shouldn’t you have both? Apart from being lazy, what is stopping you from having it all?

It’s different for single people. The pressure isn’t there, because they only have themselves to answer to. Well that’s how it should be, but too often single people get weighed down by social constraints, especially women. Fears about being called a slag or easy lead to women not doing what the want and instead doing wha they feel they should. And this ‘should’ is formed from societal opinions which for the most part are based on antiquated views that lack relevance in todays culture anyway. Boys don’t get away with this completely however. It’s easy for them to be known as ‘love rats’ or ‘players’ even when their intentions have been clearly stated. And in all this judgement and sexual-political manoeuvering, the main point gets lost. Sex is supposed to be a fun thing. Obviously there are issues around being safe with it etc and you would hope that people are generally wised up to those kind of risks and take the appropriate action, but beyond that, it’s time to change our mindset as a general populace about sex. It’s not a big deal. It’s not taboo. Everyone has sex. Teachers have sex. Church folk have sex. Politicians have sex. They guy next door has it, the person on the bus next to you has it, the fireman you saw yesterday has it, the woman walking her dog has it. More or less everyone has it. It’s not dirty (in a bad way anyway) and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, so how about we stop judging people for it and just mind our own fucking business! I will fuck who I wan to fuck. You fuck who you want to fuck. And whether that means one person for the rest of your life or a new person every day, that is your choice. So if you’re single, do you. Do you. Do someone else. Get done. Whatever. Just as long as your happy, because again, that is what sex is supposed to be all about.

So in conclusion, if you’re in a relationship, pay attention to the physical side of things. Your relationship will never be whole without it, just as it wouldn’t be if you started ignoring your mental connection. It doesn’t have to be every night, but just take the time at least once a week to do the shit that makes you remember why you dedicated yourself to this one person! And if you’re single…well just do what the fuck you want. Do everyone. Or do no one. Just do what you want and what makes you happy. One day you might be married and wishing you made the most of your singledom, so while you have it, do what is going to give you the swagger and that little smile that tells people you’ve been ringing the sex gong.

It’s sex not rocket science people! Now in the words of the great Mills Lane; ‘LET’S GET IT ON!’