Firstly let me just say, I thought I’d seen it all. How wrong I was. It’s 2016 peeps, and sex just got high tech!
Everyone must have heard the old saying that sex is the best exercise. I’ve never really known if that’s because it’s the most enjoyable form of exercise or because it actually is the best thing you can physically do to get in shape. Whatever the case, after a heavy session I know that I’m normally completely out of breath and have probably worked up a sweat. If that doesn’t sound familiar to you then…WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!!! But I digress, the point is, sex is a hell of a workout.
Knowing this, I suppose it was only a matter of time until someone thought about turning ‘sexercise’ into an actual thing. Well the time is now. The people at Pornhub (one of the worlds foremost porn sites…not that I’d know 😳) have decided that we have waited long enough to formally bridge the gap between sex and exercise and from what I imagine must have been a night full of alcohol, ecstasy and trance music, they have bestowed unto us their greatest idea. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, ‘Bangfit’.
Seriously, this is now a thing. The concept is simple, get fitter and stronger by playing a game that requires you to have sex. Of course, it’s completely ridiculous, but then, fuck it, sex is supposed to be fun right? The rules are simple, you pump and move as directed by the game. The actual game has porn that looks like this (I’ve edited but obviously you get the idea);
So you thrust or wiggle or whatever it is that the game has you doing, in time to the little arrow and you get points as you go along. There is a video that explains all of it which is SFW which you can check out HERE and I’ll use stills from that from now on to keep this semi SFW! If nothing else you should watch the video because it cracked me up. I was like ‘this must be a joke right?!’ but nope, it’s legit! Completely and utterly ridiculous, but legit. The people at Pornhub are quite clear that it works all your muscles as shown in this slightly disturbing still from the video;
First thing to say, I haven’t tried it yet so I can’t actually comment on whether it does actually work as an exercise form, but I feel like it’s gotta be worth a go just for the crack!
You will also need a smartphone, as this is how the game registers your movements and how well you’re going and how many points to award (awarded for rhythm and how on time your movements are). They have this thing called a ‘bangfit band’ which is kind of like a bumbag type thing that your smartphone goes into. No idea how much it costs, but apparently it’s not compulsory and you can fix your phone to your body however you want, which basically means, the game is 100% free if you can be creative!
The first thing you do is pick one of the options for playing which are solo, as a couple or in a threesome;
and then that’s pretty much it. The game starts and you get fit while getting freaky. There are a variety of routines (to allow for varying levels of fitness) and once you’re done it gives you a calorie break down and your total score, although as it tells you, ‘with Bangfit, everyone scores!’ *cringe* lol. Me personally I would be treating it like Call Of Duty and going for the best scores possible and probably berating my partner if the score was sub-par; ‘DAMN IT! YOU HAVE TO SHOW MORE COMMITMENT!!!!!’
Once you’re done you can…I swear I’m not making this up, so much so that even I am still not convinced this isn’t a windup…share it on Facebook with your friends to let them know how great your sex workout was. What form this takes I’m not sure yet, but hey, it beats reading some of the boring shit people post about! Or maybe not. I don’t know, I’m still trying to get over the fact this is a thing now! Like, someone got paid to come up with this? Sheesh.
Again, if you haven’t seen it yet, at least check out the promotional video. Comedy gold! So whether you are a gamer, love your fitness, or just love freaky fun, you might as well give it a go.
And you never know, you might find yourself bored tonight and your partner says to you ‘any ideas what we can do, I feel like doing something different?’…😉
THE MANSPLANATION 